


there'll be no more darkness when you believe in yourself

by teen_spn_wolf



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Explicit Language, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Katsuki Yuuri & Yuri Plisetsky Brotp, Katsuki Yuuri and Victor Nikiforov are Yuri Plisetsky's Parents, M/M, Slow Burn, but not legally, like really slow burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2018-10-01 03:28:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10179638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teen_spn_wolf/pseuds/teen_spn_wolf
Summary: family moments between victor yuuri and yuri. Chapters will alternate between them getting over thier mental issues and how thier doing it, to happy family fluff. ( yuri spelt yuuri to help with confusion. as story progresses yurio will go from yurio to yura to yuri. will tag as story progresses.) point of view alternates.





	1. Can you hear my heart beat? ( Yuuri)

**Author's Note:**

> started this to help get over my writers block and depression. don't know how often I'll update, please kudos and comment constructive criticism welcome.

I have this itch inside my brain  
Caused by a Scream I keep contained  
it remains through both calm and storm  
at the worst of times causes anxiety to swarm  
I try so hard not to cry  
but the tears still manage to fall out my eyes  
I've tried everything to numb the pain  
the only option left is Novacain.....

I have been fighting anxiety since before I can remember, skating make it both better and worse. Worse because there are a lot of people I disappoint when I fail. better because us skaters stick together and encourage each other. I've always known this but I didn't realize how this information affected me until Victor and Yurio came into my life. Before them I felt empty and useless I didn't understand why I felt this way or how to get rid of it. I used to cut, I was suicidal Phichit helped me stop, but he could stop the thoughts. Neither can anyone else but with Victor and Yurio around the thoughts quieter. I feel alive like my mistakes don't define me and my mental health is just another obstacle that I will eventually get through like I'm strong. It makes me happy that we did that Onsen on Ice!! Competition so many months ago, that is after all when this feeling started.


	2. the start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> how, when and why the feeling started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> believe it or not English is my first language, i don't have a beta so please feel free to tell me about grammatical errors, if there's something you're confused on please feel free to comment i always try to respond to every comment i get.

Yuuri and Yurio were practicing alone at the rink because Victor had gotten drunk off his ass the night before and was nursing the world's worst hangover suddenly Yuuri suddenly Yuuri bows to Yurio and says

" Yuri please help me land my quad salchow" 

" huh?" exclaimed a startled Yurio after all no one has called him by his first name since Mari came up with his nickname, and the situation isn't that serious why's the fatty being so serious all of a sudden? why doesn't he just wait till Victor comes back after all that's his coach? finally, he says to a bowed Yuuri

" why should I and stand up straight BAKA!"

" please Victors tried, but I still can't do it and I need to land this jump please" asked a desperate Yuuri

" OK, OK God just shut up you sound like a child, and stop making that ugly face dumb ass" so they practiced the jump for two hours. No joke the only reason they stopped when they did was because Yurio made a big fuss

" Sweet... baby.... Jesus fucking...... dammit...... idiot Katsudon...... have you heard of a fucking water break... less than a five-minute break God I'm dying.... I'm dead before I could make my big senior debut and it's all your fault... Yakov's gonna kill you." panted an exhausted Yurio as he laid on the ice.

" You could've taken a break earlier when I asked, your more dramatic than Victor"

" * le gasp* no one is more dramatic than him..." said Yurio as he looked around suspiciously 

" He works hard for that title it's not right to give it to someone else" he finished causing Yuuri to let out a startled laugh realizing this is the first time Yuuri has laughed made Yuri want to make do it again."

"I'm serious do you really think he doesn't practice in the mirror before he sleeps like 'hmm yurio didn't react much when I said he didn't have enough agape in him was my comparison mediocre it'll happen again next time it must be dramatic how oh I know he'll have to react if I make him go to a temple next time Victor next time for sure" by time he was done Yuuri was muffling his giggles with his hand so he continued

" not enough people reacted when I walked around naked next time I'll cling to people too, that'll get them to put up a sign as to when the appropriate times to walk nude are because I'm a child and all the attention must be on me" he said while dancing dramatically on the ice this time in order to really get into character this time and Yuuri was in tears when he suddenly became serious 

" You're the wrong Yurio..." 

" what do you mean?" asked yurio nervously 

" It's more like this, everyone is getting used to me being a clingy needy naked octopus. No ones surprised by me anymore.. is it .. because.. I'm balding? oh the torment, the shame, how will I ever face my fans? I will never recover!!" he exclaimed donning a Russian accent and ending his performance by dramatically sinking to the ice. joining Yurio who had fell on the ice laughing so hard because that's the last thing he expected Yuuri to do.

" you sounded just like him"

" Yuri.. I've been imitating Victor since I was 12 I'm a little insulted that you thought id be bad." 

" ok prove that your not" Yuuri looked down sighed looked up and ran a hand through his hair 

" I'm disappointed in you Yuuri how don't you understand your jumps they're so easy a 9-year-old can do it I know because I was doing them at nine. that and there isn't enough sexuality in your program hmm what was that yes I do realize children will be watching but Christoph never cared about that hmm I'm sorry I don't understand what you mean by a virgin? never had sex? oh Yuuri you don't have to lie to me I know you're a mediocre skater everyone who isn't me is but you all can't be me"

" OH MY GOD YOU ARE GOOD WHAT THE FUCK. IF YOU EVER QUITE SKATING BECOME AN ACTOR I MEAN YOU EVEN DID HIS POUT RIGHT" screamed a hysterical Yurio

" I know. Now enough, time to get back to practice" so they did for another hour before yurio asked 

" Yuuri why did you do so bad at the Grand Prix finals last year?" causing Yuuri to flub his jump 

" Oh. um. well . Before my skate I found out my dog Vicchan died, and even though I hadn't seen him for five years he was my rock when things got too hard, from when I was little to when I had to leave for college he was there. I was heading back home after I graduated so I always thought he would be there, and well ... it was just hard."

" I'm sorry. no, really I'm sorry I shouldn't have yelled at you in the bathroom that day I was a dick." 

" It's ok Yurio," said Yuuri as he prepared for another jump that he landed before Yurio could congratulate him Victor walked in 

"what were you guys practicing just now?"


	3. Friend and Foe? (Yuri)

I wake up gasping for air, another nightmare I think to myself as I try to go back to sleep. No surprise there I've been having them since I arrived in Hasetsu, but can you blame me I left my Grandpa behind I was only supposed to be here for a few days, get Vitya and get out back to grandpa where if he were to pass I'd be there for him, and not here where I can't. Stupid Victor for always thinking with his dick, and stupid Katsudon for being such a crybaby idiotic mess. All I want is a program I can win with so my family can survive, now in order to learn it I have to go through with this stupid competition when all idiot one had to do was teach me the choreography. Great now I'm too worked up to sleep might as well take a walk until training starts. As I walk through the halls I hear a soft staccato of a piano coming from Katsudons room, in total shock when I peeked through the crack to see him playing the piano.

" What are you doing?" I whispered, despite that he still jumped almost falling off his chair.

" Yuri what are you doing up, and in my room?" He asked back breathlessly

" I couldn't sleep so I was gonna take a walk but I heard music and saw your door cracked. Are you gonna answer my question." I replied

" Come in all the way and shut the door behind you..." he demanded, and then

" I was playing a song on the piano" he replied

" no duh dumb ass I was just wondering when you learned how to play, and what song you were playing"

" Oh... of course... I was playing Get Well by Icon for Hire, I started playing when I was 10. I always kept up with it I usually play an hour before I got to bed, and at night when I can't sleep."

" How come I never heard you?"

" Because all the rooms in Yu-topia are sound proof when the doors are shut." he replied, then we hit an awkward silence but now that I have company I don't want to leave I get the feeling Katsudon knew this because after awhile he asked 

" Do you want me to play you something?" before I could even think I responded

" Only if you know Haikyuu's first OP"

" Japanese sports anime Haikyuu!!? pretty sure it would be a literal crime if I didn't, but you strike me as the 3rd season's OP kinda guy."

" I actually haven't seen the 3rd season yet." I embarrassingly said

" well let me play it for you would you prefer the Japanese or English version?"

" you're gonna sing it?"

" Yeah why not you'll make fun of me if my voice is good and if it's bad so I don't see a downside" and well I really couldn't argue with that logic 

" both" I challenged 

"Kay ..." then the motherfucker began to sing and I swear he sings like an angel that paired up with the fact that he played like an expert because his hands weren't fucking watching the keys caused me to have to sit so I sat on the bitches bed because damn and despite the fact that I couldn't understand a word of the song because it was in Japanese it sounded really encouraging. then the English came and I was taken aback.

" _as if you're lighting up a fire with every fiber of your being, you swallow up the air around with all your energy."_   and I'm done OK like is there anything he can't do? when he finished thigs got awkward again as I tried to take control of my emotions.

" OK so here's what's gonna happen you are gonna put that away, then answer every single question I ask OK?"  he nodded as he put way his piano I began my interrogation.

"So what other talent do you have."

" I don't have talents just hobbies" 

" you know for a second I forgot you were shamelessly insecure so I'll correct myself anyway, what other hobbies do you have."

" well besides ballet and gymnastics I have violin, theater, cooking, and drawing experience."

" Wait you have more dancing experience than ballet." I stated 

" how did you know ?" he asked shocked  

" what do you mean I'm not and idiot Yuuri I do remember you dancing at the Grand Prix" I exclaimed enraged that he would treat me like an idiot.

" But I didn't dance at the Grand Prix" he stuttered out oh... my... God. he doesn't remember, this is quite literally the best night of my life.

" Nooo... but your free program suggested that you might have knowledge in multiple dance fields." I bull crapped

" Oh... well I do but I'm not good at them, and I don't practice them nearly as often as I do ballet" OK so Katsudon is either drunk (confident on a normal person), shy, insecure, Insecure or _INSECURE (_ stupid on a normal person) good to know.

" so wait what about figure skating?" I curiously inquired 

" I'm a dime- a- dozen figure skater it's my job not a hobby"

" Oh... Obviously" I teased as I checked my phone for the time 

" oh... shit."

" what?"

" It's 4 o'clock in the morning we need to go to bed practice starts at 10." I said as I walked over to the door.

" Wait, yuri... can you do me a favor?"

" Depends on what it is."

" Can you not tell Victor about tonight? I get the feeling he'd be really dramatic about it if he found out you were in my room before him and that I told you stuff about me that he doesn't know" 

" get the feeling my ass, bitch you know he'd be insufferable if he found out, so yeah doing this would be doing us all a favor. Jeez, you gotta learn how to be less polite, can you do me a favor?"

" Sure, what?"

" Try to get us an extra hour of sleep tonight I'm a growing boy I need at least seven." I teased causing him to blush, God knows why being the absolute devil in the morning is embarrassing

" Think I can manage it, good night" he mumbled, shutting the door.

" Good night" I whispered to the door. falling back to sleep was way to easy this time around, it's funny for as much of an anxious mess he is Katsuki really knows how to put others at ease. He is really the best rival/ friend anyone could ask for.

 


	4. Soft Yuuri, Sleepy Yuuri big ball of EVIL

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Why everybody is scared of Yuuri in the morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, it's been awhile hasn't it? sorry for the delay on this chapter my life is just shit right now, I just got kicked out of my house so now I live with a friend. The sad part is that I got kicked out the sad part is that my parental unit knew about some emotional issues I have that stem from years of child abuse and neglect, and instead of trying to fix them she tried to cover them up and focused on my flaws of character by that I mean tried to make me as much like her as possible. But now I feel better enough to write this chapter, once again all feedback is welcome.

It was 11 A.M. on the third day of Yuri's stay in Japan, the Katsuki's were so swamped that they had to make Victor and Yuri help, everyone had something to do. Everyone except Yuuri who was still sleeping.  
" Mom, it's unavoidable we need Yuuri's help." stated a frustrated Mar  
" He will be up soon Mari it's fine, besides he didn't go to sleep until 7 this morning because he prepped the food, so unless you wanted to wake him I suggest you leave him be." Victor overheard the argument that the two Katsuki's were having and decided to give his two cents.  
" Would he really make that much difference, not to be rude but I've rarely seen Yuuri work here, and when he does all he does is clear dishes and Yurio already has that handled." Before Mama Katsuki could answer there was sudden screaming coming from dining area where Yuri was working forcing both Hiroko and Victor to rush to Yuri's aid only to see a man yelling at him in rapid Japanese with Mari trying to diffuse the situation. When she finally got the man to calm down she angrily marched up to Hiroko  
" None of that would have happened if Yuuri were working, and I'm not waking him because I'm not in the mood," she told her mom and then started to walked away  
" If Yuuri is that integral to business I can wake him up" offered Victor noticing that the Katsukis were weirdly obsessed with not being the one who awoke Yuuri, but he supposed that that made sense, after all the Japanese folk are freakishly polite. At least that's what he thought until they straight up guffawed in front of his face  
" Umm, am I missing something"  
"Ahahah.... Don't take this personally but YOU don't have it in you to handle that kind of task by yourself " breathlessly stated Mari  
" uh, why wouldn't I, I can deal with him just fine, so whats the difference now? "  
" Guys how about this Victor how about both you go wake Yuuri up with Yuri?" reasoned Mama Katsuki  
" FANTASTIC!!" screamed an over enthusiastic Victor  
" how about I go get Yurio? he seemed to be in a bad mood and he's usually nicer to me when he gets like this" offered a mischievous looking Mari. Sometime later Yuri came out of the kitchen with his phone in hand  
" Kay old man lets go wake up the pig and get this over with."  
" you'll let me wake him up right yuriii ?" pouted Victor  
" why Victor nothing would make me happier"  
" REALLY? THANKS, YURIO" Exclaimed an ecstatic Victor giving Yurio his biggest heart-shaped smile  
" Mari better be right" mumbled Yurio in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this so many months ago, I haven't really had time to finish it so I will post part two of this chapter sometime after Christmas hopefully..if you have anything that you want to see happen or even RL problems you want to see in this fic then please feel free to comment and I will see what I can do. All comments feed my soul and keep me alive.


	5. Abandon?

Sorry guys life did get better for me in a way but it also really started to pick up. I really don't think that I can keep putting dedication in this but I will be willing if someone. Any one wants me to I just really need the motivation to keep going and having a follower would really do it for me. So if you would enjoy this being continued I need to know by Easter. Thank you all for your support


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